This podcast is a repost, originally published on May 27, 2018.

Pastor Priji and Rashmi continue with the Preparing for Marriage series as they discuss the significance of preparing spiritually- seeking God, leaning to His voice, submitting to the Word, and seeking Godly advice, for the relationship in order to glorify God.

 

Transcript:

Pastor Rashmi Varghese: Being spiritually prepared is the most important factor in preparing for marriage.

Firstly, do not be yolked unequally. When you are looking for a partner, you have got to look after a person who is spiritually on the same level as you.

You are responsible for your partner’s growth and you cannot be a part of that growth if you are lacking or way ahead from their level. Unless you’re on the same level, it might take a lot of hard work.

Pastor Priji Varghese: If you are already in a relationship, share about your experiences with God. It helps each other grow in your spiritual understanding and walk. Pastor Rashmi Varghese: You share your career goals, ambitions, finances, parenting, but it is most important to share spiritual goals. A small similarity like wanting to adopt created a great excitement in our relationship. How much more, then, will spiritual fellowship! Pastor Priji Varghese: If one of you does not have spiritual ambitions, it will help you to get motivated towards having one through the other. However, you should not only focus on the spiritual highs, but also be open with your spiritual failures. Be vulnerable with them. Displaying only your strengths you can just impress the other, but by being honest about failures inspires them. Pastor Rashmi Varghese: At most times we do not find the perfect partner. It helps to know that God uses brokenness to turn it into something beautiful. However, all of this will go waste if you do not have a personal prayer life. Pastor Priji Varghese: If you do not have a personal prayer life you are not ready for marriage because the primary purpose of the same is to host God. If you are not doing it individually, which is easier, how can you do it together? To pray together is harder than praying alone. Practice spiritual disciplines regularly. Pray over the phone when you talk, go to church together, have Bible studies, and go to marriage conferences. Pastor Rashmi Varghese: Hear His voice and seek directions from the Holy Spirit. We only give human wisdom, but what He gives is above everything. Recognise God’s voice and seek His council. Make Him the centre of all decision making. Pastor Priji Varghese: If the Holy Spirit’s voice is not governing your marriage decisions, then you are in for a disaster because you will be living for yourself. A Christian life is a sacrificial life surrendered to His will. If your prayer life is not leading you to hearing from God and making Him the centre of your life then it is just religion. Some people seek God to know to whom they should get married to and then He is forgotten afterwards. You would start depending on each other, which can be problematic. Pastor Rashmi Varghese: Marriage, in this world, is stereotyped to be the end or the goal of a relationship. However marriage is just the beginning of the rest of your life. Pastor Priji Varghese: Read God’s Word together and study together. It can be helpful to also have same or similar doctrinal affiliations. If you differ a lot in doctrine, how will you lead your children spiritually? Base everything on the Bible and ask God to lead. The more your lean on the Word, the more it will reveal God’s heart and true theology to you. Pastor Rashmi Varghese: Involve your spiritual mentor in the whole process. You need a third person to see things from a different perspective. However, God’s voice is superior to any other. Pastor Priji Varghese: When my mentor Pastor Shyju met Rashmi for the first time, in his spiritual discernment, he explained to me the good things and the challenges I’d face with her. It helped me in being prepared and not going in blind. When in love, you tend to overlook everything else. Love does cover a multitude of sins, but it is good to have a third person’s perspective. Find a mentor who will speak the Word over your life. Get Godly pre-marital counselling. If you are preparing for marriage, make sure to promote Christ likeness in each other. Character is more important than beauty. Encourage one another more in building character promoting love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, and self control rather than focusing on outer beauty, dressing, and looks. Your relationship with God becomes the rock solid stable foundation on which you could build your relationship with each other as a spouse. In case you have missed our Marriage podcasts, do check them out. Here is the previous one: Preparing Emotionally for Marriage