Here’s an excerpt from Annie Lobert’s book ‘Fallen’. We hope this will encourage you to wait on God for your life partner and also to receive his healing in every area of your life.

Transcript:

This is taken from a book called ‘Fallen‘, written by Annie Lobert whom we interviewed a while ago. The last chapter talks about her marriage and how God brought the person who she is married to.

As we live life we go through our disappointments and challenges, and there are times when very bad things happen. In case of Annie, she had been trafficked. She had a tough lifestyle and God saved her from that. Then for her to trust a man given the abuse she went through and to decide to spend the rest of her life with a man, it was very encouraging. This book will fill you with expectations and is especially encouraging to those who’ve gone through abuse in their past, knowing that God can take the biggest messes and turn it around into a testimony.

An excerpt from the book ‘Fallen‘ – “My Dream Come True”.

“If you keep on believing, your dreams will come true.“ – Cinderella

As I forge forward in my life, my focus fixed in the right direction, taking slow and steady steps towards my purpose, moving deeper into my faith, I still wondered about love. I was a hopeless romantic. The Disney fairy tale was sown in the back of my mind but not as an idea that I strived for. I just believed in the back on my heart that there was someone specific God has set for me. You know, ‘The One‘.

While I no longer look back at my past with paralyzing regret, I couldn’t ignore the obvious. A string of failed and often toxic relationships. Nor could I ignore the beautiful truth that with God everything is redeemable. I held onto that hope for dear life. I tread carefully as I prayed and dated. I had been through a lot and was cautious around men. I didn’t want to be a victim of bitterness or sabotage relationships because of my past.

I like what C.S.Lewis wrote – “To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to keep intact you must give it to no one, wrap it carefully around hobbies and little luxuries. Lock it up safely in the casket of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken, it will become unbreakable, irredeemable, to love is to be vulnerable.“

Sure, I made some serious mistakes along the way and had my heart broken in the process even as a Christian woman, none is perfect. My heart so longed for someone, as painful as it was in the process of trusting God, I kept trusting with all my heart. I leaned into more of how a man of God who truly loved me was supposed to treat me.

I will never forget the showdown I had with God. I was lying in bed one night, praying to God to reveal the plan He had for me, when I heard a still small voice say, ‘I will not send you the right husband until you understand who you are in Me and what it’s like to be a godly wife. I want to be your husband first so I can show you how your earthly husband should treat you‘. Frankly, these weren’t the words I wanted to hear but I submitted to the process and cried all night, asking Jesus to comfort me. That night I felt His loving arms around me as I slept. The next few months I dove into letting God lead me like He was my husband. Falling more deeply in love with His gentle, kind demeanor.

It was truly a sweet romantic time in my life. One I will never forget because I became so close to Jesus. In the process I found out more deeply who I was in Christ. And my identity didn’t need to be tied to find a husband to complete His plan. He could still use me regardless and I told God, ‘Look God, if I have to be a nun for the rest of my life, that’s fine with me‘. As soon as I said it, I couldn’t believe those words came out of my mouth, because

I was feisty when it came to getting my way. But God knew that I meant it when I said it. He led me to read relationship books on marriage.

And what did a Godly marriage look like?

Here’s what I needed to know that my future husband was the one for me.

1. He needed to love God with all his heart, mind, body and soul. God needs to be the absolute first in his life.

2. He needed to be a provider. If we were to be married, he needed to be truly willing to be my husband by providing for me financially, providing to take care of me if I were sick.

3. He needed to be able to have the ability to protect me in any given situation, dangerous or not.

4. He needed to be able to take a bullet for me. Like Jesus, he would be willing to die for me.

5. He needed to be a true gentleman, who needed to wait to have sexual relations until after marriage.

A man who truly loves you will not compromise your sexuality by expecting to sample your body like a piece of merchandise. I knew that the one God would send me would never force me sexually to do something I’m not ready to do, and if he tries to, that would give me an indication that he wasn’t the gentleman that God planned for me.

I would have to admit being who I am, and the type of comfort I needed romantically, that the last point was going to be difficult. Infact in 2005 I slept with someone I met and got engaged to. He told me I was going to be his wife and then he broke my heart. When I tell you I made mistakes, I meant it.

Don’t believe someone is going to be your husband or wife just because he/she claims God told him/her he/she was. You wont ever really know someone until you spend a lot of time with them and dated them for a while. Don’t play their victim.

When I look back at this time in my life, I understand the inner healing God needed to do in my heart. I had to learn about healthy relationships, biblical marriage, understand that God needed to be my husband first in order to understand a husband’s role. It’s very beautiful the way God romances us and gives us the desires of our heart. Especially when we have been out in the desert so long looking for pools of water that’s not there.

God continued to bring to my mind, one of my now favorite scriptures, Proverbs 18:22 – He who finds a wife, finds what is good and receives favor from the Lord.

Through these words God was reminding me that I didn’t need to play the harlot and chase after a man. I needed to be a dignified lady and wait patiently. So I stayed faithful to God believing in prayer and believing in God for a faithful husband, it wasn’t about me any longer, it was about aligning myself with God’s plans for me. There comes a time when we really need to grow up and not force the doors to open that God doesn’t want to open. Doing that is nothing short of manipulation, which is really a form of witchcraft. Which would hurt you if you did, like it had hurt me in my past.

In June 2007, my good friend Heather, founder of JC’s Girls, had dinner one night with her friend Kevin Max, of Audio Adrenalin and DC Talk. When the founding member and lead guitarist of band Stryper, showed up and joined the table. Heather called me as soon as she came home that night, saying, ‘Annie, I just met your future husband!‘, she gushed. She told me about how my name had come up during dinner. I laughed skeptical, ‘Oh shut up, you did not.‘, Heather didn’t back down saying, ‘I sure did, I swear to you girl, you’re going to marry this guy.‘. While it sounded crazy, I wondered ‘could it be, maybe‘.

Oz messaged me that very night, he told me he admired what I was doing and would love to meet me sometime. I’ll have to admit that at first I was cautious and skeptical of him. Come on, he was a rockstar, and most of them are womanizers. There was no way I was going through that again, regardless, curiosity got the best of me and I was intrigued, clicking on his profile to see what he was doing with his rock music career. I was blown away by his profile and his talent, we emailed several times, while he continued to invite me to see a couple of his shows, life happened. He was busy doing tours with Stryper, I was busy doing outreach programs in Hookers for Jesus ministry, and couldn’t find the right time to connect in person. Finally in Feb 2008, I took Oz up on his invitations and showed up to one of his local shows with a friend of mine. We hung out after the show and had an amazing time. I remember him taking a bunch of pictures with me and thinking, ‘Oh my goodness, this guy is crushing on me.‘. I liked Oz, he was talented, laid back, funny and good looking.

He later asked me out to breakfast the next morning, but I couldn’t go. Oz later told me he was disappointed and assumed I was blowing him off. Which was the furthest thing from the truth and what really happened was I was in my pajamas and needed an hour to get ready so I could look good for him. He couldn’t wait because of his schedule, and he needed to drive back to LA. We continued to exchange texts but didn’t see eachother for a while, I was travelling quite a bit, and he was on tour again. I continued to seek God and pray, wondering if perhaps Oz was the man for me. Secretly I wanted it to be true, but I wasn’t stupid, I knew not to push the issue. I wanted to keep being obedient of what God told me. Then it happened. Oz was playing at a concert in Vegas on October 25th, 2008. He invited me and a friend, he asked us to dress up as the venue Hilton was throwing a Halloween party later that night. I panicked and didn’t have anything to wear. I dawned an old outfit from my old club days and some spiked heels. I probably looked a little to sexy for a Christian girl. But honestly at this point I didn’t care.

When I walked into the ballroom of the hotel for a few minutes, I think his eyes almost popped out of his head. He immediately came over and hugged me, I felt a wave of supernatural connection I knew was real. After the show we went to a romantic restaurant and talked for hours. This could be serious. After that night, we were pretty much inseparable. Our phone conversations lasted hours. I couldn’t wait to talk to him and see him on weekends playing with his band. The more I saw him, the more I liked him. Unlike other guys I was interested in, I didn’t chase Oz. He pursued me slowly and unrelentingly, like a perfect gentleman. We had a wild romance, for the first time in my life I was falling in love with a man who wasn’t trying to get into my pants or push me into a sexual relation that I wasn’t willing to go into. Oz was loving, he was patient, he wasn’t demanding, he was kind. Oz became my best friend. He encouraged me to walk in my calling without feeling threatened. He supported my ministry.

Years earlier as I prayed for a husband, I would have visions of this mystery person. He was muscular and had long hair, and many times my mind would capture images of this person mowing the lawn. When Oz sent me a picture of him mowing the lawn one day, I knew he was the one God destined for me.

There were times I wanted to discuss marriage, but every time that desire came up, God told me to keep quiet. That was so hard. I needed to be still and submit to the process He wanted to orchestrate. A few months into our relationship, Oz asked me what kind of diamonds I liked and I replied. ‘heart shaped‘. On valentines day 2009, Oz gave me a dozen each of beautiful red, white and pink roses and took me to a romantic restaurant. I was convinced that at any moment he was going to propose. We went through dinner, the bill came, Oz paid the bill and not a mention of the word ‘marriage‘. I felt disappointed. As we drove home, he said, ‘let’s have some dessert at the fire side grill‘. 25 minutes later we were sitting in front of the cozy fire eating chocolate cheesecake and listening to romantic melodies, when Oz got down on his knees and finally popped the question. My heart flooded with joy and saying, “Ofcourse”.

With a playful shove, I said ‘I’m going to kick your butt Oz, you waited till almost midnight‘. We got married 4 month later, broadcasting our wedding live on the internet. I walked down the isle with my tearful father at my side with my true knight in shining armor. As dad and I made the emotional walk down the carpet, Oz serenaded me with a touching song. I walked down that isle a virgin in Christ in a beautiful wedding dress, crowned in a tiara of diamonds, like a true princess. On this day, I’m a mother of 3 children to Oz. Paul 27, Leah 25, Terra 20. We all get along great, I love them dearly and feel like I have known them forever.

Remember my early dream of wanting to be in the music business, by being Oz’s wife, I get to be a part of his career. I work hard to support him in his music and am also producing songs with him that we’ve written together.

You see friend, God knew what He was doing and truly does know the desires of our heart.

Dear friend, I have found my once upon a time fairytale and it wasn’t because of any plan I forced or designed but it’s because I surrendered to what God wanted in my life. Do you see what can happen if we truly trust God in our life? If we stop fighting God and hold on to His desire, He will give us the desires of our heart. Our marriage is certainly not perfect and it comes with it’s own challenges, but there’s no doubt Oz is the husband I need, want, love and continue to spend the rest of my life with. Best part is, he is also my best friend.

Isn’t it crazy that a man can marry and love a former harlot? Maybe. It’s just another incredible example of how God will redeem everything if we are willing to trust and believe in Him.