Navigating Different Seasons Of Singleness

Are you single? Waiting on God? Tune in as Apostle Priji answers few of the important questions that will help you either embrace or navigate your life in your singleness.

Transcript:

Lucy: Greetings and Welcome to Marriage Talk. We hope you have been tuning in to our past recordings and we hope you have been enjoying it. Today we will do a different topic, but before that, we hand over to you Apostle. Could you say a few words before we start!

Apostle Priji: I’m glad we are talking on topics which are very essential. Sometimes we come to church and receive instructions for so called spiritual areas of our life, and we ignore our relationships and personal side of family life and parenting. The goal of this podcast is to touch your relationships. I hope today’s conversation is going to bring hope and life.

Lucy: Today’s topic has been on my mind for people who have been single. When we say single, we are not talking about people who are single, but also about people who have been married and then separated, or those who have been married and have lost their spouse. Singleness on a whole, what according to you could be the sources of being single?

Apostle Priji: I’m sure that there are many people who have decided in their hearts that they want to stay single and I’m sure that there are many people who have given up on relationships. There are people who have to disconnect from relationships, and some who have lost their spouse, they can be categorized as single.
Jesus was single. There is absolutely nothing wrong in being single. The danger is for those who end up idolizing marriage, making it their destiny. Marriage is something that God gives as a gift and yet it is not something that you do to earn anything. If God has not brought a person in your life, it doesn’t mean that you are inferior. God’s love is not proven by the gift you have. His love is proved by what He did for you at the cross. We have to learn to accept ourselves; we have to learn to celebrate and not despise it. If we despise or crib about something, then we don’t have the grace and anointing to live a victorious life. If we embrace the season we are in, and believe that God has placed us here, and live life to the fullest, do everything within our boundaries that God has established. And when we embrace that, we learn to enjoy it.

Lucy: Thank you for bringing this to light. What do you think is the criteria for someone to get re-married for a widower or a divorced? Also, is it allowed for someone who is divorced to be re-married again?

Apostle Priji: Absolutely, there is no harm in getting married. Marriage is not permanent. Its true that what God has joined together, man should not separate. But, marriage is definitely a temporary thing. Marriage is something we do here on earth for human relationship, for certain fulfillment, certain fruitfulness that God has assigned here for human race on the earth; but when we pass on into eternity, this will not be our permanent state. We will not be carrying this relationship till eternity. This means that if a marriage is broken because of death or other unfortunate events, then it is ok to get re-married.
Jesus say in Mathew, that anyone who marries a divorced woman is committing adultery; He was speaking from a context that during those days a lot of divorces that would happen was because of lust. If we go back to the context in the scripture, Jesus is speaking about lust; if we look to a woman with lust in our eyes then we are committing adultery with that person, and the only criteria to consider divorce is when there is adultery.
Is there any sin that cannot be forgiven? Is there anything that God cannot give you a clean slate? So, if you are asking me that if someone has just gotten out of marriage and should they start looking for re-marriage immediately, then my advise would be take your time, enjoy this season of singleness; don’t be in a constant pursuit of re-marriage because the last relationship that you had was intimate, very personal and it has left so much of that person in you and you will have to take a while to be healed and restored;
Is re-marriage ok? Yes, but for that you have to almost go through a re-birth in your heart. Your soul needs to be re-fashioned.

Lucy: What are the justifiable reason for someone who is not considering marriage or who wants to stay single?

Apostle Priji: There are a lot of reason people quote when they say they want to stay single. But when you dig deeper, you get to know that they are people who have had relationships and they are too attached, too hurt or abused; many times we resist marriage due to these reasons. These are justifiable reasons to stay single, although it calls us to find solutions to the hurts in our hearts. Instead of looking at it as something that is closing a door, we have to look at it as a window of opportunity for allowing God to work in our hearts. Our God is a best heart surgeon. He can fix the biggest of mess.
The second group of people are the ones who say they do want to get married and their hearts are open and they are ok with whenever the Lord wants to bring the person.
The third group of people are the ones that Apostle Paul speaks about; he is not married and he is writing to his disciples in the church and he is recommending singleness to his people; at the same time he is not demeaning marriage. In 1st Corinthians 7:32-33 “I want you to be free from anxieties. The unmarried man is anxious about the things of the Lord, how to please the Lord. But the married man is anxious about worldly things, how to please his wife, and his interests are divided”
It means that when you are a married person you ought to devote yourself to certain things that are of the earth. Your marriage is of the earth, and you have to devote yourself to it. When you are a married person, everything in your life gets realigned based on how your wife or husband wants it to be.
But Paul says, this is why I want you to be single, so that the only priority is to serve God. The only priority is how we can please the Lord. That is the only justifiable reason to remain single. Paul goes on to say that if you are tempted, falling prey to lust, then it is better to get married.
But if you only want to please the Lord and if that is your only priority in life then of-course you can choose to be single. Singleness is a gift.

Lucy: What a beautiful perspective you brought to the table. I hope people can pick up, ponder upon and understand the season that you are in. I hope this conversation blesses you and also share it to people who you think this conversation would be a blessing. We are grateful for you Apostle for bringing so much of gold onto the table.

Apostle Priji: Honestly speaking I know that I’m growing as I’m talking and sharing these things. It allows me to dig into the heart of God, because questions always provokes us to dig deeper. What is the thing that matters to God.

Lucy: Thank you for joining us. We will see you again in the next podcast.