Purposeful & Intentional Marriage

In todays conversation, we have Pastor Priji conversing with Pastor Robin & Lenu. Pastor Robin and Lenu are passionate about seeking to revive lost identities, seeing people encounter God and out of that overflow, minister to the ones God has placed around them. Here, they show us practical ways on how we can honor God and our family culture. Hoping this will be resourceful for your Marriage and Relationships

Transcript:

 Pastor Priji: We have been seeing how God has been using you to be a blessing and an inspiration to young couples and it’s an honour to have you here. You’ve been married for 11 years now and it’s amazing thing to know. I’d like to know your journey of how you met and how the experience has been.

Pastor Robin&Lenu: We met at church, went to the same church for about 8 years and it wasn’t really love at first sight but as time went on we knew that there’s something God wants for us and we started praying about it and asked our family to join us praying and here we are!

Pastor Priji: How was your transition from being singles into being a married couple; what are the things you had to immediate changes upon?

Pastor Robin & Lenu: Well, it’s definitely a mindset difference and there was a lot of adjustments and changes that had to be made and then we had to come to an understanding that this is for a lifetime and not just a gig. We had to put down things that didn’t work and then embrace what works for us together.

Pastor Priji: Let me ask you this, once you were married, what were the basis that you had to use to determine your value system for your family?

Pastor Robin & Lenu: We had talked about our individual purposes and how it comes together as a couple. We had conversations, involving questions like “are you willing to leave your job or go to Africa?”. We knew that God had called us to serve even if not in a full time capacity, but then we don’t want to be so independent in what God is doing in each of us that it becomes a friction in marriage and this was a foundation that helped us to have a mission that is bigger than just marriage and not just love.

Pastor Priji: Thats rightly said because sometimes relationships are only focused about us , our needs or expectations but then what is key and foundational is to bring the purpose and goals of each other. Can you tell us who are your role models who helped you in figuring out your value system?

Pastor Lenu: For me it’s been my parents. Just watching them do life, taught me about giving, honoring a man of God. There was also no gender specific roles because I saw my dad step into the kitchen to work alongside my mom. This was something we picked up and brought to our home because that’s healthy for living as a couple.

Pastor Priji: So it’s been six years since you moved back to Bangalore and since you both were raised in the US , and have seen how the marriage and relationships culture there is, how do you find the culture shift and what impact do you see culture has in marriages and relationships?

Pastors Robin & Lenu: Culture, when you look at it, especially when it comes to what we see or hear, is always about selling something. Our generation sees a lot on how relationships are meant to be on TV but then get into it in real life and see the opposite. So then we shouldn’t be ignorant of what is happening in the culture, as much as culture has influence on us, we should not ignore what the word of God is saying. It’s key for us to put Jesus at the center and set our eyes on Him.

Pastor Priji: Have you noticed that in countries like India, the ways which we have been brought up, how do you suggest to bring a balance of honoring our family and community we live in and at the same time honor Gods word above it all.

Pastors Robin & Lenu: The key thing to understand is knowing that you are an individual part of your family. We have to come to the knowledge of putting the word of God as your standard and then bringing in the family culture to work on and think about it. Biblical standard is what we should rely on first and then the family and individual cultures.

Pastor Priji: As a family, what are some of the things you have done to protect yourselves from the vulgarity the media has portrayed towards marriage? As I mentioned, we don’t want to be disconnected from the world but then what are those filters that you have kept?

Pastors Robin & Lenu: One thing is it’s important what you feed yourself and what you listen to or watch. It’s also important to know what you stand for marriage and what you believe is the purpose of marriage. In many weddings we hear them talk about divorce but then why not talk about how beautiful God has created it to be. When we look at marriage from a lens of love and not fear, then that is actually a good place to start at. 

Pastor Priji: That is right because sometime we try to highlight the giants in our lives than the promises of God. We could have various family members who may not be believers or subscribe to our school of thought. Surrounding ourselves with the right community is very key to the culture we bring our kids up. How would you suggest to put filters in what we should allow and not allow in marriage?

Pastors Robin & Lenu: For us it is very important on who get to speak into our lives or over our lives. Not that we get to shut people out but we check and weigh out and if there is a negative influence we set those boundaries using what we as a family stand for. It is also necessary to have people who can be friends and speak truth at you and call you out with a desire to see God’s will being fulfilled in you, I believe these are what set us into freedom. At the same time, you need people who can look at you and tell you that you are in a toxic place.

Pastor Priji: As much as we set boundaries, I believe it is also necessary to have people who will speak into our lives and see where we need to adjust and get it right. Sometimes we may always think we are always right and what we do matters more but then confrontation is not usually the best thing to relationship. In conclusion, what advise would you give to couples who are married or are on a journey to becoming one is every way?

Pastor Lenu; For the unmarried, learn to love yourself, knowing that you are complete and you are your own person and nobody can fix you. For the married, have fun! Learn to enjoy life, seeing it as a gift from God and you will see that you can overcome and this helps you change your perspective on how you see difficulties.

Pastor Robin: For the unmarried, make sure you are complete in God first, and be sure that you are not looking for somebody to be a band aid for you. And for the married, it’s important for you to learn about how to love like Jesus loved the church. It is a great place to be because you are no longer independent or constrained to yourself but then you have someone in your life that can call out what is right or wrong. If you are shying away from marriage, look at it as a way to learn why Jesus loves the church. Marriage is that beautiful place where all of that comes together.

Pastor Priji: Can you please pray for those reading and just speak hope and life over their relationships and marriages.

Pastors Robin & Lenu: Father open our eyes to see the beauty of marriage, help us to see marriage through the lens of how you love the church. Thank you for the grace and mercy and love. Help us not to be stuck in our failures and help us to put on the mind of Christ in all we do. We pray for everyone who is single and married we pray that you send them forth as a model of Christ. In Jesus name.

Pastor Priji: As you have been doing a lot of conversations on relationships and marriage this season, what is the best way for people to connect with you?

Pastors Robin & Lenu: Robin and Lenu on Instagram and RobinandLenu.com