The Communicative Marriage

In today’s marriage talk conversation between Pastor Priji and Moloise Daniel, they bring light to challenges and misunderstandings in marriages. Tune in to enlighten your minds of the significance of communication and expression in every challenge and obstacle for the growth of your marriage.

Transcript:

Priji: Greetings in Jesus name! Welcome back to Marriage talk. Today I have a friend of mine joining on this podcast. We have known each other for a while and have been friends . Help me welcome my dear friend Moloise

Moloise: Thank you so much, It’s my pleasure. It’s something I have not done before but really excited. Marriage is a very important topic. It’s been a journey for us as a couple even though there’s been ups and downs but praise God it’s been an amazing one so far.

Pastor Priji : Before we go into todays discussion and topic, let us know how many years you have been married and how did you meet your spouse?

Moloise: We will be completing eight years of marriage this coming June and we met through shaadi.com back then. Not sure how it goes today. She was the third person I was talking to and the last few didn’t go well but the first time we spoke, we had conversed for over 30 minutes and we knew that there was something on there. After engagement also we had our fair share of challenges but God is faithful and I praise God for the partner I found in Lydia and I’m looking forward to another 80 years.

Pastor Priji : One thing I love is that there cannot be any dull time with you both and I believe God has divinely orchestrated this to happen even though something we look down on shaadi.com  or any of these sources . We just need to understand that God can use anything to do his purposes I’d like to know, in the last eight years what do you both do in your seasons of misunderstandings? As we know sometimes two people can be on different levels of understanding or revelation concerning a particular topic.

Moloise: One of the things we have done from the very beginning is that we have been very vocal about our thoughts. We communicate a lot and if we do have anything in our hearts, we share with each other and keep it simple and that has helped us to reduce a lot of misunderstandings though there are times we are not on the same page. Even till today we have certain areas of misunderstanding and we tackle it by praying about such topic and reach out to one of our mentors to seek counsel.

Pastor Priji: You have mentioned the importance of communication but sometimes there is a miscommunication because it is not as easy in practice and not every marriage is the same. It could be made of one person who is outspoken in their expression of feelings or could be of another where both parties are not very outspoken and also a case where both are expressive. What would you advise in those seasons where the communication doesn’t seem to be working out or being productive.

Moloise: Sometimes there tends to be a communication gap but if we do really want to communicate, it happens. Doesn’t matter whether one is an introvert or an extrovert. At times, there’s ego coming into picture which covers communication ability. This is taken care of in a personal time with God which takes some discipline and He could speak through the word and then there will be that nudge showing why I am unable to overcome such ego and how to work on it.

Pastor Priji : Most people think it is about how we talk to each other that it will get sorted

Moloise: Marriage as a topic is so vast and it doesn’t matter how much you are

Pastor Priji: How do you complement each other with your strengths? What kind of steps have you taken in the past to complement each other with your strengths.

Moloise: To complement each other with our strengths, we have to find out what are the areas which each of us are very good at and trust each other with that. Like in the area of Parenting, we recognize each others area of expertise and back each other.

Pastor Priji: If you have to give an advise to yourself when you are married, what will it be. What are some of the things to put in place to have a solid foundation for marriage?

Moloise: One of the things which I was particular about was to see that we shared the same passion and that was both of us were passionate for Christ. Secondly, after marriage we sought our common passion and for both of us, we loved food and are people oriented. Its great to have a common ground to cherish and stand by it. Thirdly, never stay apart. Wherever you might be, stay together and serve together.

Pastor Priji: That’s certainly true to always remember even if we have been married for a long time to remain equally yoked. And putting God first . How has been with other couples in their highs and lows help you to grow together in your marriage relationship?

Moloise: Many times we tend to forget certain principles that we hold on to in our marriage. We believe in learning something whether Good or bad and sometimes we get shocked to hear some of these things are what we are also going through. And this bring us to a place of reflection which helps us learn from the journey of other couples and therfe are so many of them where we have learnt certain principles which gives us the idea of doing better.

Pastor Priji: You have emphasized the necessity to keep learning and also go to mentors and leaders to give us their inputs. Can you recommend a book or material which has helped you both.

Moloise: Homebuilders is one book which I will highly recommend and not necessarily only for young couples also for those who have 4-6 years of journey in marriage.

Pastor Priji: Homebuilders is a series of course which they have been doing and . Can you just take a moment to share some final thought and speak a word of healing for those who are hurting or going through different seasons in marriage.

Moloise: For those who are yet to get married, pray specifically for the right partner and I’m sure the Lord will give you a sign. For those who are recently married, you may feel on top of the world and see now as the best time of your life which truly is. I encourage you to continue with that same passion in the years to come. Be dependent on the Lord and seek him together. There will be times when it may seem impossible to find solutions but believe God will come through

Pastor Priji: How can our audience reach you?

Moloise: You can write to me on [email protected]