The Intention of a Godly Marriage
Transcript:
Pr. Priji: Today, we are here to receive a fresh revelation from the heart of God how marriages are supposed to function through our guest, Rini. If you could greet and share a bit more about your life with the listeners, that would be great.
Rini: I’m Rini Sam and my husband is Sam Kaladhar. We’re a young couple and married for just 5 years. After 4 years, we have been blessed with a miracle baby girl named Kalrin Ecclesias Sam as we struggled a lot for not having a child in society and God just blessed us. My husband works in the HR department in Standard Chartered Bank and in the ministerial point of view, I serve as a leader in Pr. Rajan Chacko, my father’s church.
All that I can do is sing, speak and do what God asks me to do. My husband helps me in aspects that I’m not sound in. And my daughter has started serving at 6 months old so we serve at “Kids Wave and Prayer” where children are healed and protected from the third wave. I and Candy are on-screen praying, I carry her and she praises the Lord and claps her hands. We three are carried on by God alone.
Pr. Priji: It is such a blessing when spouses work together to serve God’s kingdom as well as family especially with a child in the way too. How have you understood God’s intention of setting up an Eve for Adam?
Rini: I feel that God intended a greater purpose to be fulfilled by Adam in which Eve had to be a part of that out of which a family stems out allowing God to work in us thereby multiplying and continuing God’s purpose. We are more of how Christ is then. The Bible states that “It is not good for a man to be alone.” So my perspective is in order for a man to be responsible, he requires a partner.
Another matter is we learn how to get along, be obedient, learn to forgive and love each other all in a family, that way becoming more and more like Christ himself. Preparation begins with family.
Pr. Priji: Marriage is almost like an environment where our Christlike characteristics are put to the test on a daily. There is a limit to how much we can pretend when we’re outside but with family, true colours show.
But when God said “I’m going to make you a helper…”, how can we actually be of help to our spouse? As marriage is not only about receiving but also about giving.
Rini: My husband, Sam has been a great help in my life as he understood the calling from God for me. There are times I’ve been under the weather yet I don’t call off worship or any event and Sam sees to it that he helps me whether it is literally carrying me to worship. Unlike me, Sam is more introverted so I try to help him mentally cope with stress. Men usually don’t open up when they are stressed. So when Sam is upset, he doesn’t prefer me talking to him so instead, I go near him and pray internally over him. Another way is listening to your spouse. Spouses tend to be offended by each other due to ego so listening and humbling really help and the time will come where it needs to be talked about.
Pr. Priji: We often get caught up with how we can’t help our partner financially but it’s the little things that actually matter and help them as a support system. You mentioned you and your husband understand each other’s calling assigned by God, so how important is it for spouses to embrace each other’s calling?
Rini: This is the most important question to me because if Sam didn’t understand my purpose then my marriage would have been no more. He actually understood that I’m most joyful in the Lord’s presence before our marriage. He is from Hyderabad and I’m from Kerala. We have very different cultures but we live in Chennai. Our marriage was a whole new perspective because my father providing consent to an intercultural marriage is unheard of. So I and my husband mutually decided to just pray about it instead of talking about it. Then all of a sudden, my father decided to meet Sam’s family to talk about the marriage. That was the result of us waiting on the Lord and by then Sam realized that I’m passionate for the Lord. He also sees the blessing and the healing that accompanies that passion in our lives. And I thought I’d be restrained after I’m wed.
I’m a Limca record holder for performing for hours in a band called the “C Majors” achieved after marriage because Sam realized God’s purpose in me. I understood that he’s content when I’m content thereby understanding his calling of working behind the scenes which led to us working together.
Even when it comes to dressing up, I feel like I’m not controlled as opposed to the previous stereotype of being a pastor’s kid.
Pr. Priji: We fail to realize that our life’s calling and contentment is very much in relation to each other. How do we excuse each other’s weaknesses without overtly criticising them?
Rini: It is not easy for someone to adapt and let go. Especially in the case of forgiving someone, it is not easy but personally, I feel God can be the only one to help in forgiving. I admit to God in situations where Sam’s perspective differs from mine along with cultural differences. So in such cases, I ask God to help me forget and move on. Instead of letting the momentary words used in a heated discussion be a hindrance later on. It definitely took time to understand this. It wasn’t instant. That is purely God’s grace and His knowledge that we’re working with.
Pr. Priji: If we don’t depend on God for this, we depend on our human insight which will lead to nothing but despair. You talked about how it is important to wait on God to help you forget with His grace.
Rini: Exactly. Nothing comes out of fights but I see to it that I remain quiet in hopes of my partner understanding me. Be it, my family or my in-laws.
Pr. Priji: What are some things you have implemented spiritually in your marital life? Like the way your children are going to be raised, the way finances are managed etc.
Rini: Praying together as husband and wife create so much depth. Sometimes, we’re exhausted but we hold onto each other and pray together. Now that we have a daughter we pray in the morning as soon as she is upholding hands. After that, I have ministry responsibilities. Due to that, we grab any moment we have with each other to come into the presence of God.
We attend gatherings and online meetings because the fellowships help us not be distracted by other techs. And we know that that is the foundation of our lives. Not only that, a lot of change can be seen in Kalrin as well, especially in the third month, she started listening and being very obedient in meetings.
Pr. Priji: There are people who are struggling in their marriages and are in a rut of monotony then there are those who are praying for their barren wombs, a breakthrough in their finances as well as people seeking a partner in their life. Is there anything you’d like to add on?
Rini: I just wanted to add that my uterus is a bicornuate uterus. It is impossible for a child to be born because I literally only have half of a uterus. Researchers also claim it’s impossible. Even the consulted Doctors asked if my child was a natural conception demanding answers for the miracle that happened. We never knew I had a uterus as such until now. God just did everything in His supernatural way. I was told that the baby will come in preterm but God, in the perfect time, let me give birth at the 37th week.
During those 10 months, God made my husband realize what I was experiencing and he took care of me when I was bedridden.
I realized that God has planned people in our lives to help us out in our difficult circumstances. And now, I have a happy healthy baby even though doctors suspected she’d have trouble walking. When God can do it for me, He can do it for anyone.
Pr. Priji: Amen! How can listeners connect with you on other platforms?
Rini: My Instagram handle is @rinichacko or “bcachannel” on YouTube or in Chennai at Church or rinichacko on Facebook.
Pr. Priji: God bless you and we will continue to pray for you to be a blessing.